《老爸》完整中英文对照剧本

时间：2020-11-23 12:07:06 来源：蒲公英阅读网 本文已影响人

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　加利福尼亚州

　洛杉矶 -第一次吗

　-对 - First time? - Yes. 好吧 All right. 我好像在哪见过你 I"ve seen you somewhere before. 我确实去过不少地方 Yeah, I"ve been around. 你怎么样 How you doing? 今晚太激动人心了 Causing a lot of excitement tonight. -是谢尔吗

　-是的 - Hi. Cheryl? - Yes. -你感觉怎么样

　-挺好的

　谢谢 - How you doing? - Good. Thank you. 准备好迎接你的孩子了吗 Ready to have your baby? 希望如此 I hope so. -是叫布莱丝吗

　-对

　布莱丝·达拉斯 - Is it "Bryce"? - Bryce. Bryce Dallas. 欢迎来到这个世界

　布莱丝 Welcome to the world, Bryce. 布莱丝 Bryce. -你好

　布莱丝

　-布莱丝 - Hi, Bryce. - Bryce. 爸 Dad? -很酷吧

　-相当酷 - This is cool, right? - This is really cool. -你在拍照吗

　-是啊

　怎么了 - Are you taking a picture? - Yeah. Why not? -你觉得骄傲吗

　爸

　-当然了

　一直都是 - Are you proud, Dad? - Absolutely. Always. 这就是当爹的回报 This is the payoff for being a dad. -对

　《老爸》

　-《老爸》 - Okay. Yeah, Dads. - Dads.

　-显然你是个爸爸

　-我是个爸爸 - Apparently you"re one. - I am one. 很好

　很好

　那就好 Good. Good, good, good. Cool. -我想问问你当爸爸的体会

　-好 - So I"m gonna ask you about it. - Okay. 柯南·奥布莱恩 两个孩子的父亲 完成这个句子

　父亲是... Finish this sentence: A father is... 谁知道呢 Who knows? 要是我都能成专家

　这个节目可要遭殃了 If I"m the expert, this whole project is in terrible trouble. 拜托告诉我你还有更好的人选 So, please tell me you"ve got better people coming in. 我记得我有几个孩子

　有四个 I remember that I have children. I know I have four of them. 二十七岁的女儿

　名字叫... Twenty-seven-year-old daughter named-- 吉米·坎摩尔 四个孩子的父亲 这个头没开好 We"re off to a bad start. 不敢相信这是你感冒了的声音 I can"t believe this is you with a cold. 不过我觉得我的嗓音听起来更爷们了 But I think my voice sounds kind of more manly. -是啊

　特别好

　-硬汉的声音 - Yeah, yeah, which is perfect. - Kind of a tough guy voice. 吉米·法♥伦♥ 两个孩子的父亲 尼尔·帕特里克·哈里斯 两个孩子的父亲 -谢谢你邀请我

　-开什么玩笑 - Thanks for including me. - Are you kidding me? -真不敢相信你要拍这个

　真不错

　-我太兴奋了 - Can"t believe you"re doing this. Cool. - I am so excited. 基南

　麻烦你稍微往后站一点点 Kenan, would you mind stepping back the tiniest bit? 基南·汤普森

　两个孩子的父亲 -是嘛

　我没站对地方

　-好了 - Yeah, dawg. I"m off the mark. - There we go. 哈桑·明哈杰 一个孩子的父亲 你们要采访多少人

　多少个爸爸 How many people-- How many dads are you interviewing? 我的童年啊 My childhood, yes. 费城西区

　土生土长 West Philadelphia, born and raised. 威尔·史密斯 三个孩子的父亲 我大部分的时间都在游乐场度过 On the playground is where I spent most of my days. 我排在威尔·史密斯后面

　不是吧 I gotta follow Will Smith? Don"t tell me that. 帕顿·奥斯瓦尔特 一个孩子的父亲 天啊

　不要给我灌输这种压力 Oh, my God. Don"t put that in my head. -你可不可以站得自然一点

　-这样吗 - If you could just stand naturally. - Like that? 这就是我自然的站姿 That"s my natural resting-- 郑肯 两个孩子的父亲 好

　我们的创作理念吻合 Okay, we"re on the same page creatively. 父亲是... A father is-- Wow. 贾德·阿帕图 两个孩子的父亲 我应该知道答案吗

　不知道的话会很怪吗 Should I know the answer to that, and it"s weird if I don"t? 现代父亲的角色 The role of the modern father, -当今的爸爸

　-是啊 - what dads are today... - Yeah. -没有明确的定义

　-一点没错 - is really not defined. - Totally.

　社会上普遍的观念是

　爸爸很少参与育儿 It"s a societal thing that dads are kind of in the background. 我认为

　这种观念越早改变越好 The sooner that narrative changes, I think, the better. 天啊

　里面有一个小女孩 Oh, my gosh. So that"s a little girl in there. 我弟弟是四个孩子中最小的一个 My brother, who"s the youngest of four, 他即将迎来第一个孩子 is about to have his first kid. 天呐 Oh, my God. 我能问你个问题吗

　你拍这部片子的初衷是什么 So, can I ask you questions? What made you wanna do this? 我想更加了解当爸爸所需要的品质 I wanna know more about what it takes to be a father 赞美那些伟大的爸爸们 and celebrate all the great dads out there. 在我看来

　尤其是现在

　当爸爸 I think being a father, today more than ever, 不是一成不变的 it"s a very fluid thing. 没有任何规则 I"m not-- There are no rules. 一股脑堆上来

　让你无所适从 It"s all things at once. It"s multiplicities. 天呐

　当爸爸是件很神奇又让人胆怯的事 Oh, my God. It"s this magical, intimidating thing. 不

　我们要把方方面面都摊开来说 No, let"s talk about everything so that 让更多的人去努力

　并且做得更好 more people will do it and be better at it. 我的天啊 Oh, my God. 睡觉了

　睡觉了

　我们走 Bedtime, bedtime, here we go... 用最简单的话来说

　父亲是什么 So, in the simplest terms, what is a father? 英雄 A hero? 我第一个想到的就是这个

　That"s just the first thing I"m gonna say, 因为我很敬仰我爸 because I look up to my dad. 要是我做的还可以

　应该会成为孩子心中的英雄 If I do it right, I should be a hero to them. 老爸 格伦·亨利 加利福尼亚州

　圣地亚哥 怎么唱的 How does it go? 鞋子

　鞋子

　你在哪 ? Shoes, shoes, where are you? ? 鞋子

　鞋子

　你在哪 ? ? Shoes, shoes, where are you? ? 讨厌

　我总是弹错 Dang it, I keep messing up. 我刚刚醒来

　天气是这样的好 ? Just woke up and it"s such a nice day ? 鞋子

　鞋子

　你在哪 ? Shoes, shoes, where are you? ? 鞋子

　鞋子

　你在哪

　鞋子 ? ? Shoes, shoes, where are you? Shoes... ? 父亲的角色有了很大程度的转变 The role of fatherhood has shifted in a major way. 过去我们要做的是挣钱养家 Because we went from providing, 陪家人过节

　还有管教孩子 being there for holidays and like disciplining... 安纳亚

　可以帮忙收拾桌子吗 Anaya, can you clear the table, please? 把杯子拿过来 Get a cup, please. -杯子

　-对

　拿过来 - Cup? - Yeah, get it. 而现在我们方方面面都要参与 ...to being all the way involved. 要是你做不到

　别人会觉得你像个呆子 And you kind of look like a dork if you"re not. 玩具收起来

　女孩子男孩子 ? Clean up the toys, girls and boys ? ? 动作快一点

　别磨蹭一整天 ?

　Put it away, don"t take all day, yeah ? 玩具收起来

　女孩子男孩子 ? ? Clean up the toys, girls and boys... ? 我觉得当爸爸成就了现在的我 I feel like being a father made me the man I am. 餐具全部拿过来

　餐具全部拿过来 ? ? Get the dishes off the table. Get the dishes off the table ? -爸爸

　-谢谢 - Papa. - Thank you. 要加速了

　你们的动作也要快一点了 Gonna get faster. Now you gotta move faster. 来了

　来了

　来了 Here we go, here we go, here we go. 玩具收起来

　女孩子男孩子 ? Clean up the toys, girls and boys ? 动作快一点

　别磨蹭一整天

　收起来 ? ? Put it away, don"t take all day. Clean up, clean up ? 看

　那儿还有餐具 Oh, look, there"s a dish over there. 好样的

　小子 Good job, buddy. 我的孩子教会了我真诚

　诚实面对自己 My children taught me to be authentic and be honest with myself. 我们午餐吃什么 What are we having for lunch? 成为父亲让我拥有了一个全新的身份 Fatherhood has given me a whole new identity. 这是我以前上班的地方

　从叠衬衫开始 I used to work here. Started out foldin" shirts 陈列货物

　给售货员打打下手 and displaying stuff and helping out salesmen. 然后我找到了第一份销♥售♥的工作 And then I actually got my first sales job. 我那时过得很艰难 I had a hard time. 我妻子讨厌看到我上班如上坟的样子 My wife hated the fact that I didn"t love my job. 我也不知道当时为什么要那样说 I don"t know why I said what I said... 伊薇特·亨利 但我就是说了

　but I said it. 要不你就在家看孩子吧 What if you just stayed home with the kids? 我现在躲在厨房♥里 I"m hiding in the kitchen... 因为孩子们不许进厨房♥ because the kids aren"t allowed in the kitchen. 他在吗 Is he there? 我绝对是低估了这件事的难度 I definitely underestimated the situation. 全乱套了 All hell broke loose. 粑粑喷的到处都是 The poop blowouts. 爸爸

　爸爸

　看呀 背上有粑粑

　头发上也有 Poop up the back. Poop in the hair. 他拉粑粑了 Yeah, he pooped. 这里也是粑粑

　那里也是粑粑 There"s poop here. There"s poop here. 真的厌倦了粑粑的气味 You"re just tired of smelling poop. -开什么玩笑

　爽身粉呢

　-我不知道 - Are you kidding me? Where is the powder? - I don"t know. 我不知道 这是什么味儿 What"s that smell? 闻着像尿 Smells like pee. 我们会没事的

　各位 Okay, we"re gonna be fine, everybody. -拉到便盆里

　-不要 - Go in the potty, boy. - No. -要

　-不要 - Yay! - No. 我曾经以为这是很简单的事 I thought it was going to be easy. 给我擦屁♥股♥

　Wipe my butt. 爸爸

　给我擦屁♥股♥ Papa, wipe my butt. 给我擦屁♥股♥ Wipe my butt. 我跪了 I sucked. 我想尽量保持... I"m trying to figure out how to keep my... 我知道我想要做一个好爸爸 I knew I wanted to be a good father. 我的耐心 ...my patience. 但我不知道该怎么做 But I didn"t know how. 我跟全职妈妈的接触也不多 And I really hadn"t had enough experience with stay-at-home moms 也不认识任何全职爸爸 or knew any stay-at-home dads at all, 我真的就是 so I was kind of like, man, 我觉得我是个冒牌货 I felt like I was an impostor. 我还记得躲在这个浴室里哭 I just remember crying in this bathroom right here. 外面孩子们在拍门

　喊爸爸 And you hear the kids banging on the door, "Papa!" 我当时想

　"我不知道我还能不能撑下去 It was like, "Yo, I don"t know if I"m gonna make it through this 我需要一些鼓励" if I don"t get some type of encouragement." 真的 Like, really. 新关注我的朋友们 Some of you guys are new to my page. 我叫比利弗

　是一名父亲 My name is Beleaf. I am a father... 一开始

　我只是打开相机 At first, I would just pull the camera out 对着镜头说话 and start talking to the camera.

　后来

　我开始把镜头 Then, instead of pointing the camera to myself, 转向我的孩子们 I"m gonna point it to my kids. 这是我的孩子们

　巧克力宝宝们 These are my children, the chocolate babies. -说"你好"

　-你好 - Say "Hi." Hi. - Hi. 说"你好" Say "Hi." 我想展示我作为爸爸的这些经历 And I wanna show what I"m experiencing as a father. 你是不是老天派来惩罚我的 You freaking kidding me, yo? -没把它们放好是我不对

　-对 - I"m stupid for leaving this out. - Okay. -但是弄成这样就是你的不对了

　-对 - But you shouldn"t have touched this. - Okay. -你知道的

　-对 - And you know that. - Okay. 真的

　我发誓

　我经历的这些 Yo, I swear, man, you can"t even write 编故事你都编不出来 some of the stuff I go through. 我把袋子放在那里

　莱亚钻进了袋子里 I left the bags there. Riah goes into the bag. 我看着提奥

　他在上厕所 I was checking on Theo. He"s on the potty. -你好

　-然后尤莱亚就干了个这 - Hi. - And Uriah does this. 有那么多能拿的东西 He could have took a lot of different things, 他偏偏选中了鸡蛋 but he decided to take the eggs. -不行啊小伙

　不好

　-不哈 - Not cool, bro. All bad. - All bad? -不好

　-不哈 - All bad. - All bad? -坏透了

　-花嘟了 - Horrible. Yeah. - Horrible? 现在给你洗个澡澡

　Now I gotta give you a bath. -就没人可怜可怜我吗

　-没有 - Does anyone feel sorry for me? - No. 你是说没有吗 You said no? 于是我开始跟大家分享我艰难的经历 So I started to share my rough experiences. 发现有很多人跟我感同身受 I found a lot of people who felt like me. 我受到了鼓励

　于是就继续拍视频 I got encouraged, and then I just kept making videos. 实话说

　我不太赞成把我们的家庭生活 To be honest with you, I wasn"t a fan of the whole 发到网上去 putting our family out there. -提奥几天没有拉粑粑了

　-三天了 - How long has Theo been holding his poop? - Three days. 到这儿来 Come over here. -怎么

　你在拍我吗

　-没错

　我在拍 - Why-- Are you recording me? - Yeah, I"m recording you. 跟我走到这里来

　转个弯 Walk here with me. Turn the corner. 别打我 Don"t hit! -你捡了吗

　宝贝

　-捡了 - Did you get it, babe? - Yeah, -我捡了

　-别往我脸上蹭

　别别别 - I got it! - Don"t put that in my face. Stop it! Stop! 别玩我了

　宝贝 Babe, don"t play with me. 他真的只是想让大家看到 He really just wanted people to get the authentic experience 全职家长最真实的经历 of what it meant to be a stay-at-home parent. 小孩的眼泪 跟你们说

　L-FRESH The LION 超赞的 Yo, shout-out to L-FRESH The LION, you know? 这是新一♥期♥的《比利弗当爸爸》 This has been another episode of Beleaf in Fatherhood. 这种用视频记录当爸爸的生活方式

　This whole dad-vlogging lifestyle, 我不知道之前有没有人这么做过 I don"t know if this has ever been a thing. 但我很喜欢 But I"m loving it. 各位早上好

　有没有人有问题... Good morning, anyone. Does anyone have any questions... -我有

　-要问巧克力宝宝们 - I do. - for the chocolate babies? 是他们问你问题 They"re gonna ask you questions. "你是不是全职爸爸"

　是的

　没错 "Are you a stay-at-home dad?" Yes, I am. 严格来说

　我是在家工作 Technically, I work from home. 这让我意识到公开透明的力量 It forced me to realize the power of transparency. 好了

　来吧 All right. So, boom. 作为全职爸爸

　每个人各过各的小日子并无裨益 As a stay-at-home dad, it really doesn"t help if we"re private. 我喜欢你的头发 I love your hair. 爸爸

　你喜欢我哪种发型 Dad, how you love my hair? -我喜欢你头发本来的样子

　-嗯 - Just like it is, buddy.- Yeah. 我也喜欢你本来的样子

　我喜欢你巧克力色的皮肤 I like you just how you are. I love your chocolate skin. 我认为我们需要让更多的父亲展示出他们的生活 I think we need more fathers exposing their lives 打开他们的窗户 and opening their windows 让我们见到为父之心 and allowing us to see the heart of a father. -阿

　奈

　亚

　-奈

　亚 - Anaya.- "Naya. 亚

　亚

　亚的开头是哪个字母 Ya. Ya. What letter is ya, ya? U 吗 U?

　不是 U

　听起来像

　因为 U 开头的话读起来就是额

　额 Not U. It sounds like U" cause it"s, U is uh, uh. 听起来像是这个字母... Sounds just like this letter... 我这个全职爸爸

　一开始当得很糟糕 I was a terrible stay-at-home father at first. 但我慢慢上道了 But I got good at it. -吃培根啦

　-我要去 - Bacon! - Go me! -吃培根

　好

　咱们走

　-走 - Bacon. Okay, let"s go.- Go. 咱们走

　好的

　去吧 Let"s go. Let"s go. All right. Come on. Okay. 我是他们生命中独一无二的父亲

　所以我必须很出色 I am the man in their life, so I have to be excellent. 还烫

　得吹吹再吃

　吹给我看看 Still hot, gotta blow it. Let me see you blow it. 很好 Very good. 我的丈夫从一个 To go from being married to somebody 不愿谈论工作的人 who doesn"t want to talk about their job 变成现在这个全身心投入天职的人 to somebody who is now walking in their calling, 真的让我很吃惊 it"s just like, "What the heck?" 这是彻头彻尾的转变

　我尽量不哭出来 Like, it"s a complete transformation. I"ll try not to cry. 别一下子全塞进嘴里

　小口小口吃 Don"t put it all in your mouth. Smaller bites, please. 现在我能理解那些丈夫在外工作的全职妈妈了 Now I understand a lot of stay-at-homemoms who have working husbands, "别问我今天做了什么" like, "Don"t ask me what I did today." 你懂我意思吗 You know what I"m saying? 你根本不知道我遭遇了什么 You have no idea what I"ve been through. -真的很难

　-爸爸

　- It"s hard. Yeah. - Papa. 嗯 Yeah. -谷麦圈

　-你也想吃谷麦圈吗 - Cheerios. - You want Cheerios too? -是的

　-好吧 - Yes. - All right. -你们准备好做祷告了吗

　-没有 - Are you ready to say your prayers? - No! 你的孩子才不在乎谁是总统 Your kid doesn"t care who the president is. 你的孩子只想要你全心投入 Your kid cares that you pay attention. 你就是那个孩子世界的中心 You are the center of that child"s world. 你是爸爸 You"re Dad. -晚安

　宝贝

　-晚安 - Good night, baby. - Good night. -晚安

　孩子们

　-晚安 - Good night, buddies. - Good night. -晚安

　-晚安

　我要关门了 - Good night. - Good night. I"m gonna close the door now. -再见

　-爸爸 - Bye. - Daddy. 再见 Bye. -再见

　-再见 - Bye. - Bye. -爸爸

　-不行 - Daddy! - No. -爸爸

　-不行 - Daddy! - Nope. -爸爸

　-再见 - Daddy! - Bye. 有句话说

　在有孩子之前 There"s this saying, that you"re the best parent you"ll ever be 大家都很擅长带孩子 before you have kids. 因为那时一切都是纸上谈兵吗 Oh, because everything is theoretical?

　都是空谈

　"等我有了孩子..." It"s all in theory. Like, "When I become a parent..." 这是什么意思 What does that mean? -我们有孩子了

　-天呐 - We"re pregnant. - Oh, my God! 我确实记得 I do remember my first reaction 我妻子告诉我她怀孕了的时候

　我的第一反应 when my wife told me that she was pregnant. 我记得我当时在想

　"居然成功了" I remember thinking, "Wow, it worked." 这事就好比你在院子里种番茄 It"s almost like when you grow tomatoes in your yard, "看啊

　我种出番茄了" like, "Hey, look at that. I got tomatoes." 暗指"肚子里有个宝宝" 烤箱里有个面包

　拿出来 There is a bun in the oven. Take it out. 验孕棒 Pregnancy tests. 谢谢你 Thank you very much. -不

　宝贝

　你好好看看

　-怎么了 - No, babe, look at them. - What? 测试结果 The tests. 大卫和我都觉得建立一个家庭很重要 David and I decided that a family would be important to us, 我们本来想着或许可以领养 and we thought about maybe adopting. 但我们又想

　"不如试试代♥孕♥好了" But we thought, "Why don"t we try the surrogacy process to see?" 我们一开始就试过传统的办法 First we tried the old-fashioned way, 但我就是没法让他怀孕 and I just could not get him pregnant. -这是你的测试结果吗

　-对 - Is this you? - Yes. -你在开玩笑吗

　-不 - Are you joking? - No.

　-你懂"烤箱里有面包"是什么哏吗

　-是什么 - Do you understand "bun in the oven"? - What is that? 这样解释你就懂了 Explaining to you what it does mean. 过来

　抱一个

　宝贝 Come here. Come here. Oh, babe! -宝贝

　-好了好了 - Oh, babe. - All right. 突然间

　这变成了你这辈子最重要的事 It"s suddenly the most important thing you"ll ever do in your life, 而你对此毫无准备 and you have no preparation for it in any way. 这...真的挺吓人 And... it"s really scary. 我要离家出走 I"m leaving! 老天

　不要啊 God, no! 搞什么... What the... 拜托 Please. 这是你从整蛊商店买♥♥来的道具吗 What, you got-- You got that from a joke store? -你说我从哪买♥♥来的

　-你是不是从整蛊商店买♥♥来的 - Did I get it from a where? - Did you get it from a joke store? -这是不是你从整蛊商店买♥♥来的

　-不是 - Did you get it from a joke store? - No. 天啊

　我喘不过气了

　天啊

　喘不过气 Oh, Lord, my chest. Goddamn, my chest. 宝贝

　咱们老了

　不能再养一个孩子了 Babe, we old! We old! We can"t be doing it. 反正我不干了 I"m not doing it no more. 我不干了

　我以后都要穿着秋裤睡觉 I"m done. I"m sleeping with long johns on from now on. -宝贝

　我们该怎么办

　-什么叫该怎么办 - Baby, what we gonna do? - What you mean "What we gonna do?" 咱们都生了三个孩子了

　再来一遍呗 We"re gonna do the same thing we did for the last three. 宝贝

　天啊

　又得换尿布

　Oh, baby, just-- Oh, Lord, diapers. 你不是吧 Really? -咱们会处理好的

　-咱们会处理好的 - We gonna be all right. - We gonna be all right. -你可以处理好吗

　-咱们会处理好的 - You gonna be all right? - We gonna be all right. 你还好吗 You all right? 你想给那些准爸爸们 What advice would you give to someone 提供一些什么建议 who"s about to become a father? 我会告诉他们

　"这件事会改变你的人生 I just tell them, "This will change your life 并且会是你这辈子最有意义的一件事 and be the most meaningful thing that happens to you in your life. 多余的话我就不说了" And that"s all I"m gonna say to you." 然后我会试着弄出一阵烟雾 And then I try to throw one of those smoke things down 好趁机消失 so I can disappear. 但我是个很差劲的魔术师 But I"m a terrible magician, 所以烟消雾散

　他们会看着我走开 so the smoke clears, and then they see me walk away. 失去了戏剧效果 And the drama"s lost. 好了

　咱们来搞定这玩意 All right. Let"s figure this out. 里德·霍华德 纽约州

　威斯彻斯特 无需组装

　好吧 Assembly not required. All right. 在我成长的过程中

　我总是认为自己 Growing up, I always saw myself 是想要当父母的那种人 as someone who wanted to have kids. "请勿移除" "Do not remove."

　天呐

　我得看说明书 God, I need to read directions. 但是

　天呐 But... Oh, my God. 说实话

　我很紧张 To be honest, like, I"m just nervous 因为我希望一切都能顺顺利利 "cause I want everything to go okay. 但这样会把宝宝甩出去吧 But this could fling the baby, couldn"t it? 我觉得这样不对劲 That seems like a problem to me. 我只想问

　"这样正常吗" Just as a quick question,"Is this normal?" 不正常 No. 应该不是这么装的 They don"t want you doing that. -嗯

　得反过来

　-弯曲的那边朝下 - Yeah. Do it the other way. - They want the curved part on the floor. 离预产期还剩一个月 The due date"s about one month away, 我觉得在孩子出生之前 so I think I"m gonna be nervous about it 在确定母子平安之前

　我都会很担心 until the baby comes out and the baby"s okay, and Ashley"s okay. 之后我就不会再为此担心了 And then I won"t be nervous about it anymore. 等孩子出生之后 Then I"ll just be nervous about 我就会开始担心伤着孩子 breaking the baby once we have the baby. 好了 All right. 怎么就是装不好呢 Why is that not working? 那时我刚买♥♥了一台画中画电视

　还记得那种吗 I had just gotten a picture-in-picture TV. Remember those? 可以用小画面播放另一个频道 You could have the little picture of another channel. 说明书大概有一千页

　And it was a thousand-page manual. 我捧着大部头说明书坐下

　开始翻看 So I sit my thousand-page manual down, I"m going through, 然后我就听见佳达说

　"见鬼" and I hear Jada say, "Oh, shit." 我就问

　"怎么了

　宝贝" And I was, "What, babe? What?" 她说

　"我的羊水破了

　羊水破了" She said, "My water broke. My water broke." 我说

　"不好" I was like, "Oh." "你确定吗" "You sure?" 每次我妻子进产房♥

　我都会很紧张 When there are babies being born, I"m just nervous. "爸爸

　扶着她的腿"

　我就说 "Dad, hold her leg," and I was like, "居然在这就要生了

　就是说没有帘子 "Snap, it"s happening here. So no curtain. 你让我别看 You"re telling me not to look. 好吧

　那我就扶着这条腿"

　然后鼓励她 Okay, cool. So, I"ll just hold this leg." and... "你做得很棒" "You"re doing a great job." 但毫无疑问 But make no mistake about it, 她是蝙蝠侠

　你连罗宾都算不上 she"s Batman, and you"re not even Robin. 你只是蝙蝠车上的一个轮胎而已 You"re one of the tires on the Batmobile. 在阵痛的间隙

　为了分散我的注意力 In between contractions, to distract me, 她会让我去找一些奇奇怪怪的东西 she would give me these weird hunts to go on. 你懂我意思吗 You know what I mean? 你能不能帮我去找两个被电线绑在一起的苹果 Can you go find me two apples tied together with an electrical cord? 我就会说

　"马上就去" I"m like, "Got it."

　你们有没有去上什么课 Are there any classes that you guys have taken or anything? 嗯

　我们上了一门七小时的课 Yeah, yeah, we took a seven-hour class 是专门为新手父母准备的课程 all about parents that are first-time parents. 他们会给你看视频 And they showed you videos, 还有其他的一些东西 and they showed you all sorts of stuff. 说实话吧 And to be honest, like, you know, 我妈让我们看过我们的出生视频 Mom made us all watch our birth videos, 所以我已经有心理阴影了 so I was already traumatized. 嗯

　你能不能谈谈我们家的那些出生视频 Yeah, no, can you just talk a little bit about the birth videos 我们家的这个传统 that we have in our family, and that tradition? 好

　首先

　出发点是好的 Oh, yeah. Well, first of all,the premise is nice. "我们想让你看看

　在怀着你的时候 "We want you to see what we were like 我们俩是什么样的" when we were pregnant with you," 这事真的很甜蜜 which is so sweet. 他们会做一些采访 So they do some interviews. 我长了四斤 So, I"ve gained four pounds. 现在这个时候

　你大概十五厘米长 At this point, you"re about six inches. 妈妈会展示她的肚子

　"她怀孕了" Mom flashes her belly, "Oh, she"s pregnant." 猫到处乱跑 You know, the cat"s running around. 爸妈聊生孩子的事 It"s just Mom and Dad talking about it. 然后他们决定近距离

　And then they decided that it was appropriate 拍摄分娩视频 to have like a, like two feet from exit, like, 认为这没有不妥 birthing video. 用力

　用力

　用力

　用力

　用力 Push, push, push, push, push! -出来了

　-加油

　谢尔 - Here we go. - Come on, Cheryl. 到底有没有不妥留给大家评判 You know, I"ll let everyone judge on that, 但就我而言

　我们应该不会拍视频 but for me, I don"t think we"re gonna do that. 这可能是一个我们不会延续的传统 So that"s maybe a trait that we"re not carrying on. 那都是很棒的家庭时光 It"s good quality family time right there. 你记得第一次抱起孩子的感觉吗 Do you remember the first time you held your baby? 记得 Yeah. 我当时

　一眼就爱上我的孩子了 It was just, like, love at first sight. 真的真的真的很爱 Like, for real, for real, for real. 他们真的很小

　小脸小手小脚 They"re just so little. Everything"s so mini and tiny. 我记得第一次抱起她的时候

　我说 I remember holding her for the first time and going, "我不想摔到她 "I don"t wanna break this. 能换个人来抱吗" Can someone else hold this?" 但你最终还是做到了 But you did it ultimately. 是啊

　最后轻轻松松

　一只手抱 Yeah, by the end,I"m easy, I"m one hand. Yeah. 抱孩子就跟拿海斯曼奖杯差不多 I would hold it like the Heisman Trophy. 我抱着孩子走来走去 I was walking around with my baby

　感觉毫无负担 like I wasn"t even holding a baby. 我当爸爸了

　懂我意思吗 I"m a dad. You know what I mean? 我感觉肩上扛了责任

　像个士兵一样 I felt like I was on duty, like a soldier. "你好啊

　我当爸爸了" It was like, "Hi, I am a dad." 我们回家吧 Let"s go home. 我记得从医院开车回家 I remember driving home from the hospital 感觉路上的司机一个个都是混♥蛋♥ and just feeling like everybody was an asshole driving "你们都给我悠着点" like, "relax, y"all." 那是第一次

　他生命的全部重量 It was the first moment that the full weight of his life 都成了我的责任 was my responsibility. 我记得我们带我女儿妮芙回到公♥寓♥ I remembered us taking Neve, my daughter, into the apartment. 动作就好像是 And it is the way you watch people 抱了个还没引爆的炸♥弹♥ carrying a bomb that hasn"t gone off. 你会高度警惕 You"re just hyper aware. 有只鸟还在十公里以外

　但是朝这边飞过来了 There"s a bird six miles over that way, but it"s headed this way. 万一它想把我女儿抢走呢 What if it tries to take her? 我们离开的时候

　就我们两个人 When we left, it was just the two of us. 现在

　这小子就住在这了

　一辈子 Now, this dude lives here... forever. 我们走进门

　看见我那一堆东西 So, we"re walking through the door, and I see all of my stuff 画中画电视的说明书散了一地 all over the floor from my picture-in-picture TV. 我恍然大悟

　低下头

　And it dawned on me, and I looked down, 我说

　"画中画电视 and I was like, "There"s a thousand-page manual 都有一千页的说明书 for a picture-in-picture television 他们屁都没给就让我们带着孩子回家了" and they sent us home with a baby and nothing." 我说

　"宝贝

　这不太对劲啊" I was like, "Something"s really wrong here, baby." 我抱着我的女儿凯蒂 I had my daughter Katie. 她当时差不多有十个月大吧 She was about ten months old, something like that. 我当时把她举过头顶

　我在笑 I"m just kind of holding her over my head, and I was smiling. 我嘴巴张得老大

　她嘴巴也张得老大 I had my mouth wide open, and she had her mouth wide open. 然后她吐出了非常带劲的柱状液体 And then she vomited in a forceful column. 就是所谓的喷射式呕吐 I guess they call it projectile vomiting. 直接

　直接射中了我的小舌头 Directly into-- like, it hit my uvula. 直接喷进我喉咙里了

　人的反应肯定是 It just went right into my throat, and of course, your reaction is 把这个人扔开

　扔得越远越好 to throw this person, you know, as far away from you as possible. 但是我没有

　我抱着她 But I didn"t. I held onto her. 我只是尽可能的把东西吐出去 I just spit as much of it as I could out. 那时候我意识到我是个爸爸了 That"s when I realized I was a dad. 每次一把她放进婴儿床里 Every time her body touched the crib... 就像怪兽电影似的 it was like a monster movie. 我抱着她

　姿势不好 I would hold her, with bad posture, 后来导致我椎间盘有问题 which led to disc issues later.

　我就一直这样抱着她 So I would hold her like this for so long. 天呐

　我现在就能立刻睡着 Oh, my God. I could fall asleep literally right now 因为睡眠不足 from sleep deprivation. 起来 Get up. 你会连续几周都没法睡觉

　你会发疯的 You do have weeks and weeks of just no sleep, and you get crazy. 他在哭呢 He"s crying. 能让你崩溃 It can break you. 他在哭呢

　宝贝 He"s crying, babe. 他在哪呢 Where"s he at? -他在哪呢

　-别拍了 - Where"s he at? - Please. Please. 孩子在这儿哭

　他还以为自己抱着孩子呢 He"s right there crying, and he thinks he"s holding him. 我们年轻的时候想的都是

　"我我我 So much of our youth is "me, me, me, me, me, me. 我还有事

　我最重要" Gotta go. Gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta." 但是当你的孩子诞生后 But then when you bringa kid into the world, 你意识到

　"这是我女儿" and you realize "That"s my daughter," 你肩上的担子就放下了

　如释重负 your shoulders drop in this very profound way. "好吧

　现在她最重要了"

　你懂吗 "Oh, right. Now it"s about her." You know? "最重要的不是我了

　是她" "It"s not about me. It"s about her." 这是最不可思议的顿悟 It"s this incredible... 你不再是世界上最重要的人了 realization that you"re not the most important person in the world. 作为父母

　有了孩子之后

　As a parent, the thing that you always are most scared of... -嗯

　-最让担心的事是什么 - Yeah. - when you have a kid, is you say, 你希望你的孩子能怎么样 what"s the one thing that you want your kid to be? 健康

　当然是健康 Healthy. Yes, of course. 我当时根本不担心会出什么问题 I wasn"t at all worried that there would be anything wrong. 我儿子比利出生的时候 When my son Billy was born, 我已经有了三个非常健康的孩子 I had three kids that were perfectly healthy. 我们的孩子是早产儿 Our kids were born premature, 我们不知道会出现什么状况 and we didn"t know what was going to happen. 这种事情会...改变一切的轨迹 It"s one of those things where... that changes everything. 你家人的幸福就是你幸福的上限 You know, you"re only as happy as your family is. 所以

　你是非常脆弱的 And so, you"re very vulnerable. 罗伯特·塞尔比 弗吉尼亚州

　特赖安格尔 我是你♥爸♥爸 Well, this is Daddy. 你马上就要降生了 Your body will be here in a little bit. 我们等不及迎接你的到来了 We couldn"t wait for you to come. 你玩过头了 You took your happy-ass time. 玩过头了

　晚了两天 Happy-ass time. Two days late. 但是你最好今天就出来

　今天 But you better come out today. Today. 当孩子要出生的时候 When you"re expecting a child, 父母总是会 the parents, they always

　准备新生儿派对

　揭示性别派对 prepare for the baby shower, the gender reveal, 装饰房♥间 they"re decorating the rooms 然后给孩子挑名字 and they"repicking out names and stuff like that. 一切都是快乐的

　他们从来没有为意外做过准备 Everything is always happy. They never prepare for the what-ifs. 妈妈说你晚了两天 Mama say you"re two days late. 但我认为

　好事急不得 But my thing is, you don"t rush perfection. 你会是个好宝宝

　我们爱死你了 You"re going to be a perfect child. And we love you to death. 爸爸要关啦 Daddy"s signing out. 我记得监护仪开始铃♥声♥大作 I remember bells and whistles on the monitor started going off. 下一刻就像是特警队冲进来了 The next thing you know, like, a SWAT team came in. "我们不能等了

　他需要马上进行紧急手术" "We cannot wait. He needs emergency surgery right now." 他们说他有先天性心脏缺陷 They told us he got a congenital heart defect. 他的心脏上有两个洞 He had two holes in his heart. 我当时并没有切实理解

　到底出了什么事 It didn"t resonate with me, like, what actually was going on. 你到底在说什么呢 Like, what are you telling me? 我第一眼看见他从手术室里出来 The first time I saw him out of the surgery room, 我崩溃大哭

　因为那看起来不像是我的孩子 I broke down crying because it didn"t look like my child. 他就像个没有生命的玩偶 And he was like a lifeless doll. 当时我就知道 I just knew at that time, 我永远都是他的守护者 man, like, I will forever be his protector. 毫无疑问我绝对不会抛下这个孩子

　There"s no doubt in my mind that I will ever leave this child. 这是第一次动手术的地方 This is the first surgery we did 我们在肺动脉瓣的前面 where we just alleviated the obstruction inside the heart 减轻了对心脏的阻塞 before the pulmonary valve. 但他的瓣膜依旧有严重的阻塞 But he still has more obstruction at the valve. 儿子

　儿子

　儿子 My man, my man, my man. 哭吧

　爸爸在呢

　爸爸在呢 Let it out. Daddy"s here. Daddy"s here. 前三年真的是太难太难了 The first three years, it really, really was a lot. 这个是小家伙用的泵 That"s my little homie"s pump right there. 每晚接上使用十个小时 Hook him up every night for ten hours. 整整三年

　家庭护士每天都要来照顾我儿子 My son had home nurses for three years, every day of the week. 每周做两次物理治疗 He had a physical therapist two times a week. 他大概用着八♥九♥种药 And he was on, like, eight, nine medicines. 我们到了

　要去看医生了 Okay, we made it. About to head out to the doctor"s appointment. 他以前一个月要去看三个医生 He used to have to see three doctors a month 持续了大概一年半 for almost, like, a year and a half. -爸爸

　-好了 - Daddy! - Okay. 那是一段非常漫长而且艰难的过程 It was a long, long, long rocky process 因为那时候我没有车 because at that time, I didn"t have a car. 好了

　拉住我的手 All right, hold my hand. 我要打车

　坐公交车 I had to hop cabs and buses and stuff.

　而且有些医生远在华盛顿特区 And some of his appointments were way in Washington, DC. 我早上六点就要出发 I would literally have to leave six o"clock in the morning 就是为了早到三十分钟 just to be there 30 minutes early. 昨晚真是太难熬了 Yeah, it was a rough night last night. 我今天不得不请假

　看着 RJ

　确保他没事 I had to take off work today. Make sure, you know, RJ"s okay. 我记得有一次他病了

　就是个小感冒 I remember one time he got sick. Like, a small little cold. 他掉了一斤体重 He dropped a pound. 用了快一年才把这一斤长回来 It took almost a whole year to get that pound back. 37 度

　好了宝宝

　你接着睡吧 Ninety-eight point seven. Okay, baby. You go back to sleep, okay? 抱歉 I"m sorry. 当时我是个新手爸爸 It was like, I"m a first-time father. ...