奥巴马白宫晚宴幽默演讲上演单口相声

时间：2021-03-21 18:08:10 来源：蒲公英阅读网 本文已影响人

相关热词搜索：巴马 单口相声 白宫

奥巴马白宫晚宴幽默演讲上演单口相声 本文关键词：巴马，单口相声，白宫，晚宴，演讲

奥巴马白宫晚宴幽默演讲上演单口相声 本文简介：奥巴马白宫晚宴幽默演讲上演单口相声自爆齐刘海搞怪照美国总统奥巴马4月27日晚上出席白宫记者协会晚宴，公布自己的齐刘海搞怪照片，爆猛料拿自己开涮。晚宴上，奥巴马公布了一批修改的搞怪图片。图片中，第一夫人米歇尔的齐刘海发型转移到了奥巴马脑门上。奥巴马说，希望在第二届任期中做出改变，提升形象，不知道偷师米

奥巴马白宫晚宴幽默演讲上演单口相声 本文内容：

奥巴马白宫晚宴幽默演讲上演单口相声

自爆齐刘海搞怪照

美国总统奥巴马4月27日晚上出席白宫记者协会晚宴，公布自己的齐刘海搞怪照片，爆猛料拿自己开涮。晚宴上，奥巴马公布了一批修改的搞怪图片。图片中，第一夫人米歇尔的齐刘海发型转移到了奥巴马脑门上。奥巴马说，希望在第二届任期中做出改变，提升形象，不知道偷师米歇尔“换发型”算不算其中之一。奥巴马当晚尺度大开，不断自嘲。此前，他在复活节庆祝活动上，打篮球曾经22投2中，惨不忍睹的命中率是难得的笑料。总统先生也大方的主动提起，博得在场各位一笑。

Remarks

by

The

President

at

The

White

House

Correspondents

Association

Dinner

英语演讲稿：

Washington

Hilton

Hotel,Washington,D.C.

10:14

P.M.

EDT

THE

PRESIDENT:

Thank

you.

(Applause.)

Thank

you,everybody.

(Laughter.)

How

do

you

like

my

new

entrance

music?

(Applause.)

Rush

Limbaugh

warned

you

about

this

--

second

term,baby.

(Laughter

and

applause.)

We

re

changing

things

around

here

a

little

bit.

(Laughter.)

Actually,my

advisors

were

a

little

worried

about

the

new

rap

entrance

music.

(Laughter.)

They

are

a

little

more

traditional.

They

suggested

that

I

should

start

with

some

jokes

at

my

own

expense,just

take

myself

down

a

peg.

I

was

like,guys,after

four

and

a

half

years,how

many

pegs

are

there

left?

(Laughter.)

I

want

to

thank

the

White

House

Correspondents.

Ed,you

re

doing

an

outstanding

job.

We

are

grateful

for

--

(applause)

--

the

great

work

you

ve

done.

To

all

the

dignitaries

who

are

here,everybody

on

the

dais

--

I

especially

want

to

say

thank

you

to

Ray

Odierno,who

does

outstanding

service

on

behalf

of

our

country,and

all

our

men

and

women

in

uniform

every

single

day.

(Applause.)

And

of

course,our

extraordinary

First

Lady,Michelle

Obama.

(Applause.)

Everybody

loves

Michelle.

(Laughter.)

She

s

on

the

cover

of

Vogue,high

poll

numbers.

But

don

t

worry

--

I

recently

got

my

own

magazine

cover.

(Laughter.)

Now,look,I

get

it.

These

days,I

look

in

the

mirror

and

I

have

to

admit,I

m

not

the

strapping

young

Muslim

socialist

that

I

used

to

be.

(Laughter.)

Time

passes.

You

get

a

little

gray.

(Laughter.)

And

yet,even

after

all

this

time,I

still

make

rookie

mistakes.

Like,I

m

out

in

California,we

re

at

a

fundraiser,we

re

having

a

nice

time.

I

happen

to

mention

that

Kamala

Harris

is

the

best-looking

attorney

general

in

the

country.

(Laughter.)

As

you

might

imagine,I

got

trouble

when

I

got

back

home.

(Laughter.)

Who

knew

Eric

Holder

was

so

sensitive?

(Laughter

and

applause.)

And

then

there

s

the

Easter

Egg

Roll,which

is

supposed

to

be

just

a

nice,fun

event

with

the

kids.

I

go

out

on

the

basketball

court,took

22

shots

--

made

two

of

them.

(Laughter.)

That

s

right:

two

hits,20

misses.

The

executives

at

NBC

asked,“What

s

your

secret?”

(Laughter

and

applause.)

So,yes,maybe

I

have

lost

a

step.

But

some

things

are

beyond

my

control.

For

example,this

whole

controversy

about

Jaz-Z

going

to

Cuba

--

it

s

unbelievable.

I

ve

got

99

problems

and

now

Jay-Z

is

one.

(Laughter

and

applause.)

That

s

another

rap

reference,Bill.

(Laughter.)

I

ll

let

you

know.

(Applause.)

Of

course,everybody

has

got

plenty

of

advice.

Maureen

Dowd

said

I

could

solve

all

my

problems

if

I

were

just

more

like

Michael

Douglas

in

“The

American

President.”

(Laughter.)

And

I

know

Michael

is

here

tonight.

Michael,what

s

your

secret,man?

(Laughter.)

Could

it

be

that

you

were

an

actor

in

an

Aaron

Sorkin

liberal

fantasy?

(Laughter.)

Might

that

have

something

to

do

with

it?

(Applause.)

I

don

t

know.

Check

in

with

me.

Maybe

it

s

something

else.

(Laughter.)

Anyway,I

recognize

that

this

job

can

take

a

toll

on

you.

I

understand

--

second

term,you

need

a

burst

of

new

energy,try

some

new

things.

And

my

team

and

I

talked

about

it.

We

were

willing

to

try

anything.

So

we

borrowed

one

of

Michelle

s

tricks.

(Laughter

and

applause.)

I

thought

this

looked

pretty

good,but

no

bounce.

(Laughter.)

I

want

to

give

a

shout-out

to

our

headliner,Conan

O

Brien.

(Applause.)

I

was

just

talking

to

Ed,and

I

understand

that

when

the

Correspondents

Association

was

considering

Conan

for

this

gig,they

were

faced

with

that

age-old

dilemma:

Do

you

offer

it

to

him

now,or

wait

for

five

years

and

then

give

it

to

Jimmy

Fallon?

(Laughter.)

That

was

a

little

harsh.

(Laughter.)

I

love

Conan.

And

of

course,the

White

House

press

corps

is

here.

I

know

CNN

has

taken

some

knocks

lately,but

the

fact

is

I

admire

their

commitment

to

cover

all

sides

of

a

story,just

in

case

one

of

them

happens

to

be

accurate.

(Laughter

and

applause.)

Some

of

my

former

advisors

have

switched

over

to

the

dark

side.

For

example,David

Axelrod

now

works

for

MSNBC,which

is

a

nice

change

of

pace

since

MSNBC

used

to

work

for

David

Axelrod.

(Laughter.)

The

History

Channel

is

not

here.

I

guess

they

were

embarrassed

about

the

whole

Obama-is-a-devil

thing.

(Laughter.)

Of

course,that

never

kept

Fox

News

from

showing

up.

(Laughter.)

They

actually

thought

the

comparison

was

not

fair

--

to

Satan.

(Laughter

and

applause.)

But

the

problem

is,is

that

the

media

landscape

is

changing

so

rapidly.

You

can

t

keep

up

with

it.

I

mean,I

remember

when

BuzzFeed

was

just

something

I

did

in

college

around

2:00

a.m.

(Laughter.)

It

s

true.

(Laughter.)

Recently,though,I

found

a

new

favorite

source

for

political

news

--

these

guys

are

great.

I

think

everybody

here

should

check

it

out,they

tell

it

like

it

is.

It

s

called

whitehouse.gov.

(Laughter.)

I

cannot

get

enough

of

it.

The

fact

is

I

really

do

respect

the

press.

I

recognize

that

the

press

and

I

have

different

jobs

to

do.

My

job

is

to

be

President;

your

job

is

to

keep

me

humble.

Frankly,I

think

I

m

doing

my

job

better.

(Laughter

and

applause.)

But

part

of

the

problem

is

everybody

is

so

cynical.

I

mean,we

re

constantly

feeding

cynicism,suspicion,conspiracies.

You

remember

a

few

months

ago,my

administration

put

out

a

photograph

of

me

going

skeet

shooting

at

Camp

David?

You

remember

that?

And

quite

a

number

of

people

insisted

that

this

had

been

photoshopped.

But

tonight

I

have

something

to

confess:

You

were

right.

Guys,can

we

show

them

the

actual

photo?

(Laughter.)

We

were

just

trying

to

tone

it

down

a

little

bit.

(Laughter.)

That

was

an

awesome

day.

(Laughter.)

There

are

other

new

players

in

the

media

landscape

as

well,like

super

PACs.

Did

you

know

that

Sheldon

Adelson

spent

$100

million

of

his

own

money

last

year

on

negative

ads?

You

ve

got

to

really

dislike

me

--

(laughter)

--

to

spend

that

kind

of

money.

I

mean,that

s

Oprah

money.

(Laughter.)

You

could

buy

an

island

and

call

it

“Nobama”

for

that

kind

of

money.

(Laughter.)

Sheldon

would

have

been

better

off

offering

me

$100

million

to

drop

out

of

the

race.

(Laughter

and

applause.)

I

probably

wouldn

t

have

taken

it,but

I

d

have

thought

about

it.

(Laughter.)

Michelle

would

have

taken

it.

(Laughter.)

You

think

I

m

joking?

(Laughter.)

I

know

Republicans

are

still

sorting

out

what

happened

in

2012,but

one

thing

they

all

agree

on

is

they

need

to

do

a

better

job

reaching

out

to

minorities.

And

look,call

me

self-centered,but

I

can

think

of

one

minority

they

could

start

with.

(Laughter.)

Hello?

Think

of

me

as

a

trial

run,you

know?

(Laughter.)

See

how

it

goes.

(Laughter.)

If

they

won

t

come

to

me,I

will

come

to

them.

Recently,I

had

dinner

--

it

s

been

well

publicized

--

I

had

dinner

with

a

number

of

the

Republican

senators.

And

I

ll

admit

it

wasn

t

easy.

I

proposed

a

toast

--

it

died

in

committee.

(Laughter.)

Of

course,even

after

I

ve

done

all

this,some

folks

still

don

t

think

I

spend

enough

time

with

Congress.

“Why

don

t

you

get

a

drink

with

Mitch

McConnell?“they

ask.

Really?

(Laughter.)

Why

don

t

you

get

a

drink

with

Mitch

McConnell?

(Laughter

and

applause.)

I

m

sorry.

I

get

frustrated

sometimes.

I

am

not

giving

up.

In

fact,I

m

taking

my

charm

offensive

on

the

road

--

a

Texas

barbeque

with

Ted

Cruz,a

Kentucky

bluegrass

concert

with

Rand

Paul,and

a

book-burning

with

Michele

Bachmann.

(Laughter

and

applause.)

My

charm

offensive

has

helped

me

learn

some

interesting

things

about

what

s

going

on

in

Congress

--

it

turns

out,absolutely

nothing.

(Laughter.)

But

the

point

of

my

charm

offensive

is

simple:

We

need

to

make

progress

on

some

important

issues.

Take

the

sequester.

Republicans

fell

in

love

with

this

thing,and

now

they

can

t

stop

talking

about

how

much

they

hate

it.

It

s

like

we

re

trapped

in

a

Taylor

Swift

album.

(Laughter.)

One

senator

who

has

reached

across

the

aisle

recently

is

Marco

Rubio,but

I

don

t

know

about

2016.

I

mean,the

guy

has

not

even

finished

a

single

term

in

the

Senate

and

he

thinks

he

s

ready

to

be

President.

(Laughter

and

applause.)

Kids

these

days.

I,on

the

other

hand,have

run

my

last

campaign.

On

Thursday,as

Ed

mentioned,I

went

to

the

opening

of

the

Bush

Presidential

Library

in

Dallas.

It

was

a

wonderful

event,and

that

inspired

me

to

get

started

on

my

own

legacy,which

will

actually

begin

by

building

another

edifice

right

next

to

the

Bush

Library

--

can

we

show

that,please?

(Laughter.)

I

m

also

hard

at

work

on

plans

for

the

Obama

Library.

And

some

have

suggested

that

we

put

it

in

my

birthplace,but

I

d

rather

keep

it

in

the

United

States.

(Laughter.)

Did

anybody

not

see

that

joke

coming?

(Laughter.)

Show

of

hands.

Only

Gallup?

Maybe

Dick

Morris?

(Laughter

and

applause.)

Now,speaking

of

presidents

and

their

legacies,I

want

to

acknowledge

a

wonderful

friend,Steven

Spielberg,and

Daniel

Day-Lewis,who

are

here

tonight.

(Applause.)

We

had

a

screening

of

their

most

recent

film,Lincoln,which

was

an

extraordinary

film.

I

am

a

little

nervous,though,about

Steven

s

next

project.

I

saw

a

behind-the-scenes

look

on

HBO

--

well,let

s

just

check

it

out.

Roll

the

tape.

(Video

is

shown.)

(Laughter

and

applause.)

It

s

a

remarkable

transformation.

Do

I

really

sound

like

that,though,honey?

(Laughter.)

Groucho

Marx

once

said

--

and,Senator

Cruz,that

s

Groucho

Marx,not

Karl.

That

s

the

other

guy.

(Laughter.)

Groucho

Marx

once

told

an

audience,“Before

I

speak,I

have

something

important

to

say.“(Laughter.)

And

along

those

same

lines,I

want

to

close

on

a

more

serious

note.

Obviously,there

has

been

no

shortage

of

news

to

cover

over

these

past

few

weeks.

And

these

have

been

some

very

hard

days

for

too

many

of

our

citizens.

Even

as

we

gather

here

tonight,our

thoughts

are

not

far

from

the

people

of

Boston

and

the

people

of

West,Texas.

There

are

families

in

the

Midwest

who

are

coping

with

some

terrible

floods.

So

we

ve

had

some

difficult

days.

But

even

when

the

days

seemed

darkest,we

have

seen

humanity

shine

at

its

brightest.

We

ve

seen

first

responders

and

National

Guardsmen

who

have

dashed

into

danger,law

enforcement

officers

who

lived

their

oath

to

serve

and

to

protect,and

everyday

Americans

who

are

opening

their

homes

and

their

hearts

to

perfect

strangers.

And

we

also

saw

journalists

at

their

best

--

especially

those

who

took

the

time

to

wade

upstream

through

the

torrent

of

digital

rumors

to

chase

down

leads

and

verify

facts

and

painstakingly

put

the

pieces

together

to

inform,and

to

educate,and

to

tell

stories

that

demanded

to

be

told.

If

anyone

wonders,for

example,whether

newspapers

are

a

thing

of

the

past,all

you

needed

to

do

was

to

pick

up

or

log

on

to

papers

like

the

Boston

Globe.

(Applause.)

When

their

communities

and

the

wider

world

needed

them

most,they

were

there

making

sense

of

events

that

might

at

first

blush

seem

beyond

our

comprehension.

And

that

s

what

great

journalism

is,and

that

s

what

great

journalists

do.

And

that

s

why,for

example,Pete

Williams

new

nickname

around

the

NBC

newsroom

is

“Big

Papi.“(Applause.)

And

in

these

past

few

weeks,as

I

ve

gotten

a

chance

to

meet

many

of

the

first

responders

and

the

police

officers

and

volunteers

who

raced

to

help

when

hardship

hits,I

was

reminded,as

I

m

always

reminded

when

I

meet

our

men

and

women

in

uniform,whether

they

re

in

war

theater,or

here

back

home,or

at

Walter

Reed

in

Bethesda

--

I

m

reminded

that

all

these

folks,they

don

t

do

it

to

be

honored,they

don

t

do

it

to

be

celebrated.

They

do

it

because

they

love

their

families

and

they

love

their

neighborhoods

and

they

love

their

country.

And

so,these

men

and

women

should

inspire

all

of

us

in

this

room

to

live

up

to

those

same

standards;

to

be

worthy

of

their

trust;

to

do

our

jobs

with

the

same

fidelity,and

the

same

integrity,and

the

same

sense

of

purpose,and

the

same

love

of

country.

Because

if

we

re

only

focused

on

profits

or

ratings

or

polls,then

we

re

contributing

to

the

cynicism

that

so

many

people

feel

right

now.

(Applause.)

And

so,those

of

us

in

this

room

tonight,we

are

incredibly

lucky.

And

the

fact

is,we

can

do

better

--

all

of

us.

Those

of

us

in

public

office,those

of

us

in

the

press,those

who

produce

entertainment

for

our

kids,those

with

power,those

with

influence

--

all

of

us,including

myself,we

can

strive

to

value

those

things

that

I

suspect

led

most

of

us

to

do

the

work

that

we

do

in

the

first

place

--

because

we

believed

in

something

that

was

true,and

we

believed

in

service,and

the

idea

that

we

can

have

a

lasting,positive

impact

on

the

lives

of

the

people

around

us.

And

that

s

our

obligation.

That

s

a

task

we

should

gladly

embrace

on

behalf

of

all

of

those

folks

who

are

counting

on

us;

on

behalf

of

this

country

that

s

given

us

so

much.

So

thank

you

all,to

the

White

House

Correspondents

for

the

great

work

you

do.

God

bless

you

all.

May

God

bless

the

United

States

of

America.

END

10:36

P.M.

EDT